Wednesday, December 2, 2009

Depilation and phoney cooks 5/06/09

We got a quote on having shutters made for our two bedroom windows; €2000, which isn’t feasible at the minute, and surprisingly expensive. How can everyone afford shutters if that is the price? And most houses have shutters. We can’t get aircon in our bedroom because that requires the ugly looking fan being attached to the outside wall, but we are in the historic part of town and it isn’t allowed. So we have bought a second hand Pinguino – a mobile aircon unit which actually is massive and takes up loads of space and you have the window open anyway for the exhaust pipe to out through. It seems that it doesn’t do much either. … ahhh, well I guess we can sell it if we ever get our shutters …

We had Amy Winehouse in the bar last night with dark curls and red lipstick.She grinned her wide red smile at me and asked asking the barman to make her a vodka and watermelon cocktail … and there he was in the kitchen struggling manfully to carry back the watermelon to the bar and chop up for her. Honestly, the concessions and obligingness required to deal with these locals … and talking about the barman, it turns out he isn’t gay as he is in rivalry with the cameriere for the ladies. Every now and again il barman comes upstairs to serve a glass of wine or something upstairs and I wonder why, as it is unusual for him to do anything beyond the strictly necessary. I look and then I see he is pouring all his charm over some girl at a table whether accompanied by a man or not! He told us last night proudly that he had carried over cocktails to some table and asked if anything else was desired and the girl said no just your number … He was in the kitchen this morning (loading the fridges with beer) when I was getting the sugar for the meringues (since the cuoco can’t do them) and he says .. ‘Look, I am all pink, I have just had my depilation at the beauty centre.’ Well, I nearly fell over. He showed me his pink arms and even did a little twirl to show me his pink smooth belly and back … oh god I said, no, give me a real man. He said, no, you north Europeans are all pale and hair free but we are like gorillas down here, I don’t want to be dropping hairs from my arms in the cocktails, and I don’t like my bed full of hairs so this is the ideal solution. But at least on your chest I said, a man MUST have hair on his chest, look at mi marito, a real man. He opened his eyes wide in horror, no I could never be like him. I have my next appointment for the 11 August. I said, no, unbelievable, it is such a pain, ah do you depilate he asks me in all seriousness, yes the legs it is such a pain I said, he said, no if I was a girl I would be in the beauty salon every week. And I said but you shouldn’t over do it because then it is unattractive, and he got worried for a second and said his sister said a few years ago that he was excessively slavish to the fashions of the moment in his matching trainers and designer tops.

We had a big lunch with the suoceri and cugnati and my cugnata (sister-in-law) said they ate at a nice restaurant in town the other day, whewre our first ‘coca’ had been working before she came to try with us. The owner said it was so hard to find a cook and that she had only been able to do 4 dishes and if you asked her to do something else she was very reluctant to do it and also not very good at it. What a pretender, poncing around saying she would be wasted in our kitchen. Her real reason was she didn’t think she would be up to it. I remembered her tantrum in my kitchen when I was teaching her to make gazpacho; I didn’t have red wine vinegar but said balsamic vinegar was better anyway, as it has a softer taste; but she wanted red wine vinegar because it said so in the recipe.

The ex-cuoco was outside drinking last night. We saw him deep in sideways (he can’t look at you straight) conversation with the guy from the bar next door. Who knows what he was saying, what a mistake to take him on, he’ll be talking badly about us to everyone, what a bad energy, worse than the pretender cuoca, who was not cruel at least.

A nice table of three last night, two girls and a guy. The guy said, you will tire quickly of Milazzo. In the winter it is awful. I studied in Rome and reluctantly came back. Why don’t you talk to the lady at the English School and teach me English at the refinery since my English teacher is leaving? Working at the restaurant has made me think twice. Italians have much more respect for teachers. We are simply there to provide a service for them.


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