Should I stay or should I go?
Out and about on the daily adventures of my life, the two questions I get asked
the most these days are: What brought you to Sicily? (Well, we all know the
answer to that) followed swiftly by, So do you think you'll stay? Of course, the
answer depends on whom I'm talking to, and always brings What's Best for My Kids
into it. Sicilians unanimously agree that my kids would have better
opportunities and a better future if we go back to Ireland. They think my family
would rally round and be on hand at all times, unaware that in Ireland we are
raised to be independent by 18 and get on with our lives elsewhere (unlike
Sicily where it is common to live with parents well into your thirties). We have
just come back from a month in Ireland and my children are missing their
cousins, reliving the glorious summer memories, sunset by pierjump by Whipped 99
ice cream. They know school would be better and would even don a uniform if it
meant jumping on the trampoline and playing hide and seek regularly rather than
hanging out virtually with bad internet connection. It would get me away from
the Evil Eyes from the X Famiglia and I might even get a well-paid stable job
(the condition for the Move). But when I start imagining what life would be like
without Sicily I get this hollow feeling in my gut. A separation after a 15 year
relationship is hugely unmooring, but to also leave your adopted homeland would
be a double unmooring. This weekend I was in Palermo and had a little headspace
to give the matter some thought. It has something to do with the awe I feel when
I walk into the Palazzo Normanno, overwhelmed by the sheer brilliance of the
Arab artists who evoked through mosaics and geometrical shapes carved in the
wooden ceiling Islamic and Christian symbols of paradise. Together. Ruggero's
cleverness at inscribing stones in four languages - Latin, Greek, Arabic and
Hebrew - Sicilian inclusion in the Middle Ages. Or the warmth of Palermitan
women on a singing workshop with me, and chance encounters with female singers
reminding me that I have projects here to complete. While walking past the nude
statues around the fountain of Piazza della Vergogna, I was reminded of how much
Ireland and Sicily have in common. Shame (Vergogna) is one of those vestiges of
Catholic guilt that still lingers in the conscience of both populaces (and
fuelled XMarito's treacherous court separation). I prefer to believe in Miracles
(the other name for Piazza Pretoria) which are never far away, and enjoyed a
miraculous moment of solitude at Zisa (from the Arabic Azis or Splendid)
Castle, with not a single tourist in sight by the fountain at its centre. And
for now, I'm staying in Sicily.
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